


Visits in the Night

by MarkShoe



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Reunion Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-29 09:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5122790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkShoe/pseuds/MarkShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moiraine is back from the dead, and with the Last Battle looming she has limited time to meet and catch up with a couple of her old friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place hours after the world leaders gathered at Merrilor.

_These things are quite useful._ Moiraine thought to herself as she stepped through the Gateway. With them, her journey to find the Dragon Reborn would have been shorter by as much as a decade. Of course that would have been a full decade before Rand had the means to achieve his destiny. She pondered the implications of that as she stepped on the hard rocky ground.

The air was cooler here, a league or so north of Fal Dara across the Blight Border. Directly to the north rose the mountain range known as the Mountains of Dhoom, that stretched far to the east until the Aryth Ocean, and to the west until it met the Spine of the World, broken only in one location, across the field from where Moiraine stood, Tarwin's Gap.

The walk from the travelling grounds to the heart of the camp was a short one. Thom wanted to come along, keep her company, but this is one visit - one of a few she had to make - she’d preferred to undertake without company, especially Thom’s.

She knew where to find _him_ , the one she was looking for. At that time of day, a few hours after sunset, there were only two or three places where he would be. When she didn’t find him in the command tent, she took to higher ground. She spotted him on a ridge across the camp, where he could keep an eye on the soldiers on guard duty.

The fighting here had been grueling, she’d heard, and the brief glimpse she took at the killing field confirmed it. There was a pause in the fighting, and it wasn’t going to last.

She approached him from behind. He stood with his back straight, as he always had. He didn’t turn but a few paces before she reached him he spoke. “It’s strange.”

She allowed herself a small smile. No matter how quietly she walked - she or anyone else for that matter - it was nearly impossible to sneak up on him. A certain memory regarding a certain pond flashed through her mind. “What is, Lan Gaidin?” she asked, with some amusement in her voice.

“The Bond between us, it was severed when…ever since…” he stopped talking for a moment as she came up to stand right beside him. He kept his gaze across the camped army, not looking at her as he continued “ever since that day.” _the day I died_ “Yet even now, it feels like I can still tell when you’re close.”

“There are Bonds that can’t even be detected, let alone explained, by the One Power.” she said while turning her head to study him. He had walls around him, he always have, yet these walls, they were different in a way, in a very unsettling way. “Between siblings, spouses…,” she paused while looking at his angular face, there were more lines there than she remembered. “old friends.” She continued “Many sisters tried to document those bonds, study them, yet the souls of humans contain big mysteries that even the Brown Ajah cannot solve. Those Bonds, it has been noted, cannot be severed.”

He remained silent. Still refusing to meet her eyes

“You have changed.” she said softly.

“Have I?” he spoke in a low tone that chilled her.

With a start she realized what was different about the walls Lan kept around himself. They weren’t the normal walls he carried all his life, the walls he carried to keep everyone out. These were different, these were there to keep one person out, one specific person. _Me._

“We are, aren’t we?” she said carefully “Old friends?” that was always a good way to shake him. Give him an unexpected question.

After nearly a minute he said “We traveled together. We…we lived together. We respected and protected each other. We shared a journey, a lifetime long journey, but I am not sure we were ever friends.”

That statement hurt her more than she cared to admit, even to herself. “Oh? Why would that be? What do friends do that we haven’t?” she had to make a conscious effort to keep her voice level.

“Not many things.” he spoke in his low tone. He was straining against his self control and she could see it. She had to prod him forward.

“Then why are we not friends?”

“Friends don’t do to their friends what you did?”

“And what-” she had no chance to finish her sentence when he cut in.

“You knew.” his voice, still low, took on a dangerous tone. Like the first few pebbles falling, ahead of an avalanche. _Or a crumbling wall_. “You knew you were going to your death and you didn’t tell me.”

“And what would you have done, had I told you, Lan Gaidin?”

“I would have tied you hand and foot Moiraine Sedai.” He growled.

“The Dragon Reborn…”

“I don’t care about..” he nearly shouted and finally turned to face her. His blue steely eyes, as hard as ever, maybe harder. She could see that his outburst had let out more than he wanted. He turned his gaze away again, and she could tell that he was rebuilding his restraint.

“That confrontation with Lanfear was coming, no matter what happened. I made a decision, for you, the only decision I could. A decision to keep you alive.”

His laugh was soft and mirthless “You still don’t understand. You still think I value my life.”

“I understand perfectly. You never valued your life. So someone had to do that for you.” she paused for a moment then said “Like a friend, for example.”

He didn’t say anything, yet she could feel the walls he put up starting to vanish. It was strange, for the will of a man to keep people out to be felt like that, palpably, even though it wasn’t a physical phenomenon that could be touched, felt, or quantified.

“Do you deny the validity of my decision?” she asked.

He turned to face her again. After a long stretched silence he said “No. You had, have, knowledge I do not.”

“I knew that the safety of the savior of the world demanded I give my life.”

“And you didn’t even hesitate in giving it.” he barely more than muttered.

“Some would argue that I got that from you.” she said slowly “Your lack of self preservation in the face of the greater good rubbed off on me.”

“Then the guilt I felt when you were gone should be doubled.” he said quickly “But that is not true. You were committed to your cause, finding, protecting and guiding the Dragon Reborn at any cost. You would have made that sacrifice the day we met, had the need arose.”

She nodded to herself. Now it was her turn to study the camp while he gazed at her.

“You too have changed. Moiraine Sedai.” he said and she smiled.

“Have I? Am I worse, or better?”

“The same.” he said “Only… _lighter_. For lack of a better word.”

She let out a sigh “The burden I carried for all the time we were together - finding, protecting, and guiding the Dragon Reborn - has now left my shoulders.” she turned to look at him and said “But I never carried it alone. You carried it with me.”

He shook his head and said “You carried it alone. Mine was a different burden. Though I wouldn’t call it a burden.”

She smiled and said “You wouldn’t call it ‘a burden’ to its face.”

His lips quivered into a shadow of a smile. After a moment he said “You’ve taken another Warder. Merrilin.”

“You disapprove?” she asked and in her mind, she felt at the Bond. It always provided her with warmth.

“It is not my place to approve or otherwise.” he said simply.

“No. It isn’t.” she said “But as my friend. Do you disapprove?”

He shrugged and said “He fought a Myrddraal. A Gleeman who’s brave enough to stand against a Myrddraal to protect others he barely knew. He’d lay down his life for you.” he stayed silent for a moment then added “So no, I do not disapprove.” he turned to regard her and said “I do not have to ask you if you approve of my new Aes Sedai, do I? After all, you picked her for me.”

She felt a bit shocked, though she schooled her expressions to perfect Aes Sedai serenity. “What makes you say that?”

“You think I don’t know? That you left instruction to Myrelle that she should transfer my Bond to Nynaeve when she is raised to the Shawl?”

She smiled and said “She told you?”

“She didn’t have to.” he said “It wasn’t difficult to figure out that your plans for me went beyond keeping me alive. You gave me a reason to stay alive.”

“I didn’t give you that reason. You already had it. Your love for Nynaeve, it was too strong to hide. All I gave you was freeing you from your…burden. And making sure you survived the ‘freeing’.”

“Either way.” he said after a short pause “Thank you.”

She smiled and said “You are very welcome.”

“I suppose it was foolish of me, trying to hide something from you. You know me too well.”

“And you me.” she said simply.

“We have known each other for a long time. We were good for each other.”

“No.” she said in a near whisper. He turned to her, with an expression that is as close to confusion as Lan would wear on his face as possible “We were good together. But not for each other.”

“What do you mean?”

She took a deep breath and said “There is coldness in you, rivaled only by the coldness in me. They were both born of circumstances, necessity even.”

“That’s pragmatism you’re talking about, and it kept us alive.”

“That it did, but it made us hollow inside. The coldness - pragmatism - in me fed on that in you, and it was true the other way around.”

Lan paused, contemplating her words. “We _are_ more alike than we ever knew.” he said softly.

She nodded in agreement. “Nynaeve is not cold though.”

“Neither is Merrilin.”

She smiled and said “No, no he is not.”

They stood in silence. Both looking over the sprawling camp in front of them. A light, cold breathe swept by, rusling the trees, waving the banners on top of the tent, and sending a shiver up Moiraine’s spine. All those years warding herself against the weather she forgot how good a cold breathe felt.

“This is not where I thought I’d be. Come the Last Battle.” she said slowly.

“It is not?”

“I thought I would find the Dragon Reborn. Guide him, with my knowledge and the backing of the Tower, it would then be a straight line to victory at the Tarmon Gai’don.”

“Things with the Sheepherder have never been a straight line.”

She laughed softly and said “No, they never have.”

“This isn’t where I expected to be either. Here, leading soldiers, Malkieri soldiers.”

She knew he never wanted to lead armies against the Shadow, even though his name alone could raise them. “And where did you expect to be?”

He didn’t respond. She knew his answer. _He didn’t expect to live this long._

“The Wheel weaves…”

“…as the Wheel wills.”

They stayed silent for another couple of minutes before she said “I have to get back now.”

“So do I.”

“I don’t want this to be the last time we meet, old friend.”

“Neither do I.” he turned to look at her and said “Old friend.”

“As best I could, in all our years together, I’ve avoided giving you orders. Just requests, or suggestions that you didn’t always follow.” she paused as he nodded his agreement. “Then allow me this last request. Keep yourself alive, al’Lan Mandragoran.” she said turning towards him.

“I’ll try my best.” He turned to face her and bent his head, one hand on sword pommel. “It is always, as it has always been, honor to serve, Moiraine Sedai.”

They regarded each other for a few more seconds before she turned and headed back towards the traveling grounds.


	2. Chapter 2

Stepping out of the Gateway, Moiraine spared a glance at the sleepy looking White Sister in charge of the traveling grounds, before moving out into the camp.

This was an extraordinary camp. Of the four different armies fighting in the name of the light, this was the one led by the White Tower. The Flame of Tar Valon was flapping in the wind everywhere, most prominently, Moiraine noticed, atop the command tent, Egwene’s.

This was the first time the White Tower went to war - barring that ugly business with the split - since Malkier died. Neither of those incidents count though, as in neither of them was the Tower engaged in any real fighting, and neither cases were recorded in history. So perhaps the last time the Tower went to war in full force was during the Trollocs Wars.

Egwene al’Vere, the innkeeper's daughter from Emond’s Field as Amyrlin, and Gareth Bryne, Queen Morgase’s First Prince of the Sword as First Captain. Now that was something even Moiraine could not expect.

Moiraine started to walk through the camp. It was arrayed such that the tents housing the soldiers under Bryne’s command formed a square - dubbed the outer camp - around those occupied by the Aes Sedai - the inner camp - which occupied a low hill. The hill’s summit was dominated by the command tent which could be seen from a very long distance.

Moiraine was not headed to the inner camp though. She scanned the outer camp for the largest tent, but she couldn’t see it without jumping or standing on tiptoes, both behaviors unacceptable for a Sister, so she approached a number of soldiers sat around a camp fire, and they directed her to Bryne’s tent.

“Going somewhere?” Moiraine heard a voice say, from around Bryne’s tent as she was about to enter. By the time she turned she found Siuan’s arms wrapped around her in a fierce embrace. “You bloody fool. You bloody, bloody fool.”

Moiraine smiled and said “Siuan, there are soldiers about. We can’t be seen behaving like a couple of girls in Novice white, can we.”

“Shut up.” her friend said sharply, and, seeing how there was no point in arguing, Moiraine stood there and let herself be squeezed. She did admit to herself, though she’d never admit it to anyone else, that she had yearned for that embrace, even if she didn’t know it.

After a very long hug Siuan took her arms off Moiraine and wrapped them around herself, crossing them and pouting and looking away. “What do you want?”

“Are you serious?” Moiraine asked tilting her head “I came to see my best friend.”

“Your best friend am I? Funny, how long have you been back from the dead?”

“I…I never truly died, but-“

“Well I didn’t know that did I?” Siuan said curtly “How long have you been back?”

“A while, not long, why?”

“What have you done since then?” Siuan asked.

Moiraine frowned and said “I spent some time in Andor, recovering, I was barely strong enough to move you see. The first thing I did after was go see Rand. Then we directly went to Merrilor. Then I went to see…” Moiraine stopped talking as she finally realized what was upsetting her friend “I should have came to see you sooner, I know.”

“You think?” Siuan said in a slightly angry tone “I cried, in front of Gareth Bryne, I cried when he told me you’re alive, that he’s seen you with his own eyes at Merrilor. Do you know how humiliating that is?”

“To cry in front of the man you’re betrothed to?” Siuan shot her a look and Moiraine smiled “Come now, you don’t expect news like that to escape my notice.” Thom had told her, though how he came to know she never did figure out. She looked around and said “Can we go somewhere where we can sit down? Perhaps have a cup of tea?” Siuan nodded and made to enter Bryne’s tent “Wait, we don’t want to disturb the General.” Moiraine exclaimed.

Siuan sniffed and said “He rarely ever uses his tent. He’s up there with the Amyrlin. He hasn’t slept properly in nearly a week. I keep telling him that come the battle he’ll doze off and we’ll all be dead because of him, but does he listen?”

Moiraine followed her friend, a wide smile on her face. “You and Gareth Bryne, now that is something I expected even less than Egwene al’Vere becoming Amyrlin.” The tent was spacious, although crates and seats and piles of maps cluttered the floor. Siuan channeled Fire to light the lantern that hanged from the center pole. She seemed to be able to navigate through the mess on the floor without any problems, Moiraine pondered on the implications of that while she followed. When they settled on facing seats Moiraine said “In my defense though, I did expect to see you in Merrilor.”

Siuan got up and channeled to heat a pot of tea that sat on a camp table. “Had I known you’d be there, I would have been there. But I had to stay.” she poured two cups.

Moiraine felt there was more to that statement “Surely whatever you had to stay for could wait. The summit at Merrilor was a singular event.” she accepted the tea from her friend.

“Not really. Maybe.” Siuan said while sitting back down. “Some Sisters are still not happy with Egwene. Schemes against her almost never cease.” she blew into her cup before taking a sip. She grimaced at the taste while saying “She has too many things to worry about so I help where I can. It’s worse than even when I was new to the Seat.”

Moiraine gave a short, bitter laugh “On the eve of Tarmon Gai’don, and the Sisters are still scheming against each other. Things never change, do they?”

“Things have changed. A lot of things.” her friend said quickly.

Moiraine nodded in agreement. Her best friend, stilled and deposed, a split in the Tower that had Sisters marshaling armies against each other. Tarmon Gai’don around the corner, the world going insane. Things have changed, everything has.

“There were times.” Siuan said in a soft tone while staring into the cup in her hands. “Dark times, when circumstances grew so grim that even I wondered if there was a way out. I felt that if you were there, you’d see that way out.”

“I didn’t see a way out of my own death.”

“You said you didn’t die.” Siuan said smirking.

“No. But I wish I had.” Moiraine said. It was her turn to stare into the tea. Memories of what she suffered at the hands of the Finn flashed through her mind. She pushed them away. When she looked up her friend had left her chair and was crouching in front of her, holding her hand that was holding the tea.

Siuan had concern in her eyes. But she knew not to ask. Fortunately. For if she did, what would Moiraine have answered with? How could she describe what she’s been through?

“I am okay.” Moiraine muttered. Then, looking down at her tea, she said “This tea isn’t, by any measurable way, okay. It’s dreadful.”

Siuan smiled warmly, she stood and took the tea from her friend and put it aside. “You can’t find good tea these days. What worries me is that I will die tomorrow, and never have another good cup of tea.”

“You’re not going to-” Moiraine began to speak, but if it was the Oaths that stopped her midsentence or the look that her friend shot, she didn’t know. Truth is, there was no way of telling if either or both of them would be dead by the end of the battle. “I know where we can get a good cup of tea.”

Siuan raised her eyebrow and said “Really? Where?”

“The Dragon Reborn. His touch can reverse the effect of the Dark One’s.”

Siuan laughed loudly and said “The savior of the world and you’re having him fetch you tea?”

“Well it was only one time. I’m sure he’d be happy to do it for us if we asked.” Moiraine said “Now anyway, we could have never dreamed of asking that of him before, he was too proud and stubborn. But he changed, for the better, I think.”

Siuan nodded “He changed a lot. The last time I saw him, a few days ago actually when he came to Tar Valon to meet with the Mother, he was almost unrecognizable from the trembling child I first saw in Jagad’s keep.” after a short pause she said “You did well with him.”

“That wasn’t me. He changed a lot since I last saw him too but when I last saw him he had changed a lot from the trembling child in Jagad’s keep. What happened to him after I was taken, I can claim no credit for that, or responsibility depending on whether that change was for the better or the worse.”

“It seems to me that it was for the better.” Siuan noted. “Still, you found him. Protected him when he was most vulnerable. Guided him until he was able to choose who’s best to guide him afterwards. And you did the same to our current Amyrlin. You changed the face of the world Moiraine.”

“We did.” Moiraine said “I could have done none of that without your help.”

“Perhaps you could. Perhaps you couldn’t.” Siuan said softly “They say the Amyrlin Seat is the most powerful person in the entire world. If that’s true, and I am inclined to believe it is, then for a while you were a close second.”

“The world dances on the strings the Aes Sedai tug.” Moiraine muttered.

“And for a time we tugged harder than any of them, you and I.” Siuan said.

None of them spoke for a while. The silence in the tent was however was short lived, as some rustling brought Siuan’s and Moiraine’s attention towards the tent’s entrance. “Fish guts.” Moiraine heard her friend exclaim under her breath.

A soldier wearing the uniform of the Tower guard bowed formally and said “Siuan Sedai? Captain Bryne has sent me to tell you that his meeting with the Amyrlin Seat has been concluded. And that he is headed to Merrilor to discuss some matters regarding the supply lines with Queen Elayne. He says he’ll most likely be back after dawn.”

Siuan held the man with a sharp gaze that caused him to cower slightly “And? Why are you telling me this?”

“Uh…the Captain…”

“is a grown man.” Siuan cut him off “I am not his mother so he should feel inclined to tell me about his movements. Go tell him that.”

“Aes Sedai…?” the soldier said hesitantly.

“Go!” Siuan snapped at him and he bowed again and left the tent.

After the soldier left Moiraine spoke “The man was only doing what his commander had told him to.”

“I know.” Siuan said, apparently still annoyed “I don’t appreciate interruptions.” she smoothed her dress and looked at Moiraine and said “Right. So where were we?”

Moiraine looked around and said “I was actually thinking it’s time I got back to Merrilor.”

“Why? Do you have urgent business you need to attend to?”

Moiraine frowned and said “Not urgent, but Rand has a part for me to play in the Battle.”

“And does he need you for it now?” Siuan asked.

Moiraine, wondering why her friend was questioning her like that, shook her head and said “No. But the fighting in Shienar, while at a pause right now, is set to start again anytime. The fighting in Caemlyn is set to start midday tomorrow. There has to be a thousand things to be done. I would lend a hand where one is needed.”

“But do you have to leave now? Can’t you stay the night?”

“You want me…” Moiraine began to say but then she noticed the look in her friend’s eyes. A look she hadn’t seen since they both wore the banded dress of the Accepted. “Siuan!” Moiraine said incredulously “You’re about to be a married woman.”

“What? I suggested nothing that would contradict with that.” she said innocently.

“Haven’t you now?” Moiraine asked dryly.

“All I said was that you should spend the night here. I never said anything about what we’d be doing.”

“And what would we be doing?”

Siuan said nothing, she just looked at Moiraine and smiled mischievously.

Moiraine sighed and said “You have changed. You would have never even hinted at anything like that back in your days as Amyrlin.”

“Then perhaps my deposition had one bright outcome.” Siuan said “So what say you? Are you staying or leaving.”

Moiraine looked at her friend. What was she to do.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Oh Siuan, I have missed you._ Moiraine thought as she left Siuan and Bryan’s tent right as the sky started to give its first hints of dawn. If anything the air seemed even cooler than it was at Tarwin’s Gap, she warded herself against the weather, after all she has just left a placce where she was very warm so the mildly chilly air felt like frost against her skin.

She smoothed her skirt and started to walk down the alley between the tents when she sensed a Saidar Channeler nearby. She turned and found a girl wearing the Novice white staring at her. She was tall with long brown hair, but her eyes were what caught Moiraine’s attention. There was something very familiar about those eyes.

“I know you, don’t I?” Moiraine asked the Novice who stared at her wide eyed for a moment before nervously and hastily curtseying.

“Yes, Aes Sedai.” the girl said breathlessly “We never spoke but we met briefly, in Emond’s Field. I am Bodewhin Cauthon.”

 _Of course, those eyes_ “You’re Mat’s sister. Of course I remember you.” Moiraine gave the girl a smile. _They have the same eyes, she and her brother_. While they were not that particularly similar in shape or color, they share that mischievous twinkle that would make you wary of pranks when around them. The subject of Mat’s eyes brought a twinge of sorrow in Moiraine that she quickly pushed down. “Can I help you with something, Bodewhin?”

“The Amyrlin Seat has asked you to attend her in her tent.”

Moiraine frowned. Shouldn’t Egwene be resting? And how did she know Moiraine was in the camp? “I’ll go to her at once.”

“I will accompany you.” the girl said hastily.

“Thank you Bodewhin, but I’ll find my own way.” she said looking at the girl “You look tired, you should get some rest.” _Tomorrow is going to be a long day for all of us._

The Novice curtseyed again and scurried away. Moiraine made her way up the hill to the large tent that dominated the summit, carefully stepping on the damp ground. This was one of the cleanest army camps she’d ever seen - as expected from the Tower’s own army - but still, she watched the ground as much as she watched where she was going for anything unsavory that she’d rather not step into. _The cleanest army camp is still an army camp._

 _Bodewhin Cauthon._ Had Moiraine been more attentive during her visit to the Two Rivers, she might have discovered that she was suited for training at the Tower, and hence taken her along with the others. That would have drastically changed a lot of things. Their journey alone from Emond’s Field would have been very different, Mat would have behaved completely differently, maybe he wouldn’t have taken the Dagger in Shadar Logoth and hence he wouldn’t have needed healing, thus he wouldn’t have been taken to the Tower and who knows what would that alone have changed? Mat is Ta’veren, any change around him has the potential to cause unpredictable ripples. And that’s just the beginning. When she made it to the Tower she probably would have gone with Egwene, Elayne, and Nynaeve to Falme and then…the multiplying possibilities, better, worse, and irrelevant stacked infinitely in Moiraine’s brain waiting for her to examine any of them, all shared a single constant; taking that girl from Emond’s Field.

_The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills._

Moiraine stood in front of Egwene’s tent, Gawyn stood guard. She’d heard some unpleasant things about him, but for appearances sake alone, she could think of no better Warder for the Amyrlin Seat than Andor’s future First Prince of the Sword. As she approached he gave her a respectful nod - where some would bow, she noted - and opened the Flaps for her “She told me to let you in as soon as you came.”

“Thank you, Gawyn Trakand.”

The tent was spacious, even more so than Bryan’s. There was a divider sheet that clearly hid a section, most likely containing Egwene’s own cot, to one side. Egwene’s desk dominated the main area of the tent. The amount of paper reports stacked on it dizzied Moiraine just by looking at them.

“Are you doing something with the One Power, to keep that stack from toppling?” Moiraine asked.

Egwene looked up with a we-are-not-amused look “Daughter. I sent for you hours ago.” she said flatly.

Moiraine frowned and said “Bodewhin just delivered your summons minutes ago.”

“I know.” Egwene said while scribing a notation on a paper in front of her then dropping her pen and leaning back in her chair in a manner oddly resembling what she saw Siuan do countless times “When I first sent her she reported that you and Siuan have warded Bryan’s tent. I told her to keep checking until the wards were taken down.” Egwene was holding Moiraine with an impassive stare, what it hid, Moiraine was still trying to discern. She too had come a very long way since she last saw her. _Is there anyone left the same since I last saw them?_

“She never tried to enter.” _thank the light_ “If she had, we would have detected her, and I would have received her message, Mother.”

“Oh, so is it _Mother_ now?”

Moiraine did not reply, though she finally saw the problem.

“This morning you called me by my name. In front of who knows how many people. You’re supposed to refer to me as Mother, always in public with a little more leniency in private, not the other way around, daughter. Such an infraction should warrant a penance.”

“Should, or shall?” Moiraine asked. Of course Egwene was right. The Tower cared very much about appearances and for someone in Egwene’s position that held even more weight.

“We shall see.” Egwene simply stated.

“Either way, I’ll admit that I was mistaken, and I apologize, Mother.”

“That’s not the only matter, however.” Egwene continued not even acknowledging the apology “You sided with Rand over me.”

“That’ not what happened.”

“It is not?”

“No, I sided with the Karatheon Cycle against all of you.” it was Moiraine took a deep breath “There is no known precedence, at least not a helpful one, for the situation the we find ourselves in. However there is a handy manual, one that all of you chose to ignore today. And I may have helped him push his peace treaty on you but I did convince him to give up the seals to you, and to give up the leadership of the battle. To an Aes Sedai I might add. All things considered, I think Rand should be the one mad at me, not you.”

“He chose Elayne on his own.” Egwene said quickly “He could have just as easily chosen any of the other monarchs present.”

Moiraine smirked. Siuan had taught her well. “Of course, Mother. I was just making a point.”

“Please call me Egwene.” she said letting out a deep sigh, she seemed to visibly relax as if she just finished a dreaded task. Moiraine wondered if that dreaded task was upbraiding her. “I would have argued harder, for better terms this morning. But I was just so…perplexed by your sudden appearance.” Moiraine raised one eyebrow as Egwene continued “I couldn’t believe my eyes when you entered the tent. It was all I could do not to…not to…” her voice shook for a second before she got it back under control. Moiraine could almost see her visibly yank her emotions in check. _She is fully Aes Sedai now._

“If I could have helped that, I would have.” Moiraine said truthfully.

“I doubt that. I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about you Moiriane, but I do know one thing, you love to make an entrance.”

Moiraine smiled and Egwene gave a little laugh. “I am good at it.”

Egwene stayed silent for a few moments, the mirth escaping from her face “He’s getting out of control Moiraine. I can’t even begin to predict what he’ll do.”

Moiraine didn’t need to ask to know who _he_ is. “As the first person who has ever tried to control him let me tell you, he was never in control to begin with, he frustrated me at every turn. After me came Cadsuane who by all accounts can tame the mountains themselves, and by all accounts she too failed at taming Rand al’Thor. He is not meant to be controlled, by you, me, Elaida, Cadsuane, or the Tower itself. He is controlled by the Pattern, his destiny is more tightly woven in it than any of ours, he’s Ta’veren, trying to control him is trying to control the Wheel itself. That’s the truth, one of the truths, I learned in Ruhidean.”

Egwene regarded her coolly before saying “Is it too much to ask that for once you agree with something I say? To side with me? To obey me, your Amyrlin?”

“I side with what I believe is right, and I hope you have come to trust my judgment enough for that to be a comfort.” Moiraine then laughed before she continued “As for obedience, you have my former Amyrlin advising you, ask her how much I obeyed her. Or the Amyrlin before her, or the one before that one.” she paused and looked up “The last Amyrlin I truly obeyed was Tamra Ospenya, I was a Novice at the time and the Aiel War was still going. The-”

“I get it.” Egwene cut her off laughing “Light but I have missed you.” her eyelids fluttered a bit as she looked down “I can’t help but wonder, if you weren’t…how much better things would have turned out. Maybe Siuan would still even be Amyrlin.”

Moiraine raised one eyebrow and said “I know some of the things that would have happened if I weren't taken, I knew I had to make that sacrifice. And if reports can be trusted, even though we haven’t heard of it yet, the schism in the Tower had already happened by the time Lanfear showed up in Cairhien and I hadn’t prevented it.”

Egwene shrugged and said “I don’t know. I just think that maybe there would have been a better person to lead the Tower into the Last Battle. Like you.”

“I’m afraid I must disagree again, Egwene. On your assertion as a whole and not just the specifics of it. You healed the White Tower, brought the two belligerent sides together and have been handling everything very well since then, as well as can be hoped for from any Amyrlin. With what had happened, no one could have done a better job than you, the best that could have been hoped for is someone who will do exactly as you have done and pretty much every sister knows that. Your opposition call you the child Amyrlin, as if it is a bad thing, for a reason, they have nothing else to hold against you except your age. But you are the youngest Amyrlin in all the known histories, and you have been performing your duties better than most Amyrlins in those histories. You should wear the moniker Child Amyrlin as a badge of honor.”

“But what would I be without Siuan?”

“And what would Siuan be without Cetalia Delarme?” Moiraine answered quickly “What would any of us be without helpful advisors and teachers? Look, Egwene, you had many doubters but by all the reports I could gather, no one remains in doubt of you, no one that matters anyway. Some may hate you but all the rumors of your ineptitude have been squashed.”

“Not all rumors have been squashed. There is one left. And I know someone who believes it.”

“Have you told Siuan about it?”

“Siuan can’t help me with this one.” Egwene said and the look in her eyes suggested that she will not elaborate any further.

 _Ah, but of course._ Moiraine made her voice soft as she spoke “One of the many tales I managed to dig up, and not easily I might add, was that Siuan was the one who influenced the sisters in Salidar to choose you as their Amyrlin, when Sheriam and the others were looking for a puppet leader. Then she spent most of her time mentoring you, until you got the Tower under your control while she continued as your advisor. Some say that you were never a puppet to those sitters, but you are, and always have been, a puppet for Siuan. That is the rumor that worries you, and the person believing it is you. Am I right so far?”

Without looking up, Egwene nodded and said nothing.

“Here is why I have a hard time believing that. The lifting of the age limit for the acceptance of Novices, Siuan would have never done that, the ongoing relationship with the Black Tower, Siuan wouldn’t have accepted that either. And let’s not forget your time as a captive of Elaida’s, Siuan wasn’t there to guide you and yet you managed to turn so many of the Sisters who originally supported Elaida to your side. You are a great leader Egwene. Don’t add your own name to the list of your doubters.”

Egwene finally looked up and smiled, a hesitant smile but a smile nonetheless “Maybe you are right. Light but I am glad you are here.” she laughed then said “You have no idea how many times I said I wish Moiraine was here, she’d know the right thing to do or say. I guess I was right in all those times.”

“If you want to believe that, I will not try to stop you.” Moiraine said with a smile. “And as long as we’re accepting what I am saying as wisdom, you should really get some rest Mother. Tomorrow the world will need a leader. Some may look to the Dragon Reborn for that, some may look to a monarch or a regent, but most will look where the world has always looked when circumstances were dire, to the White Tower, and we at the Tower will look to you.”

“Yes, maybe you are right.” Egwene started to rub her temple “And do me a favor, see if you can talk sense into that woolhead of a Warder. I may have use for him tomorrow and he is always adamant on standing guard when I’m asleep. I am afraid come the morrow he will be snoozing like a babe.”

“There is an old saying in the Tower. It is never wise to come between a Sister and her Warder.” Moiraine stood and walked around the desk. “There is one thing though, that I would ask of you.”

“You are yet to grant a single request I’ve made of you, but ask, Moiraine, whatever you want, if it is within my power I’ll grant it.”

“Oh I am fairly certain it is within your power.” Moiraine said with a smile “Nynaeve ambushed me at Merrilor with an embrace, Siuan did the same earlier this very night. Normally for me that would be enough hugging for a decade, but, there is one more embrace I want.” then she opened her arms.

Egwene smiled and stood up. She practically threw herself in Moiraine’s arms. She rested her head on her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her waist in a fierce grip. Moiraine closed her own arms in a maternal embrace on Egwene’s back.

“Many would remember me as the one who found the Dragon. Given the choice, I’d rather be remembered as the one who found Egwene al’Vere, the Child Amyrlin who healed the White Tower and led it in Tarmon Gai’don.”

After a while they parted, and stood in silence, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Rand has a role for me during the Battle, I am to go with him into Shayul Ghul, thus I probably won’t be able to fight alongside the Tower.”

Egwene nodded. “You and Nynaeve, maybe you two will be able to keep him from bungling it all up.”

Moiraine laughed softly and said “I’ll try my best. But it means we won’t see each other again until the end of the Battle.”

“It has fallen to us to save the world. Having tea together will have to wait until after.” Egwene said “If you do a good enough job of it, I’ll forget about that penance.”

Moiraine laughed and said “I’ll do my best then.” then she curtseyed for the first time in a very long time, bowing her head in deference to the girl who were once her student. “By your leave, Mother.”

Egwene stood, straight backed, hands held together in front of her “Go in the Light, daughter.” she replied formally.

And Moiraine left the tent, wondering at the reason behind the tear she was wiping.


End file.
